Letting One Go, Giving One Up, Is Strength Manifested

            Most of us have given things up whether it was an activity or sport as a child, caffeine during pregnancy, or the supersize french fires for the sake of our cholesterol levels.  Those things may seem difficult at the time, but the effect of the decision to give something up is probably not mind altering or life changing to a great extent; they do not significantly alter the road we set ourselves on for this existence we call life.  We learn to go without the Coke and fries and after awhile the cravings don’t penetrate and tempt us any longer. Fortunately, I’ve never been addicted to drugs or alcohol, so I can’t speak on the personal trauma engendered and subsequent endurance needed to let go of those substances.  For the most part, though, giving things up or quitting is relatively easy in certain circumstances.

            But how does one give someone up?  How does one let go of another totally and utterly completely?  We often say, “It’s for the best.  She will have a better life because you cared enough to give her up.” Or, “You are better without him; he was no good for you.”   After the separation, after the break, we recite these simple statements to get us through the day.  They may be valid reasons but they don’t possess the power to cease the ache that has taken residency in our hearts.  Perhaps time is more powerfully equipped than words in this instance and the banal expression, “Time heals all wounds,” is partially true.  I don’t think time heals the wound (the act of giving one up, the separation), however, it provides distance so the person can heal and construct a life without that other person.  We will realize the moments when we recall him or her and the memories of time spent together are not so relentless in our minds and the pain lessens from heart bashing to a swiftly unpleasant sensation.  Therefore, time helps, but there is another element.  Strength of heart.  How much can we endure?  In the aftermath, can we still see hope and disregard bitterness?  Can we show gratitude and still grieve our loss gracefully?  I think we can.  So, find your strength in your pain.  It’s there.